MEMORANDUM OPINION
BRIAN BARNETT DUFF, District Judge.
A federal judge witnesses incredible things before his bench. He sees the lowly become mighty, and the mighty turn plaintive. Before this court presently are fourteen Northeastern Illinois car towing companies. They are not in the business of rescuing motorists who become stranded on this state's highways. Rather, they are engaged in what those not learned in the law often call piracy: they tow away...
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